


honeymooning with the enemy

by stop_whining



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, The Unhoneymooners AU, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-25 08:51:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21353536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stop_whining/pseuds/stop_whining
Summary: when blue and gansey get food poisoning hours before they have to leave for their honeymoon, they decide to give adam and ronan their tickets to a two week vacation. adam doesn't know how he'll survive when he can't stand ronan's guts.
Relationships: Noah Czerny/Henry Cheng, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 15
Kudos: 99





	1. don't eat the scallops

“Do you have any idea how uncomfortable these heels are?” Blue grumbles as she looks her makeup over in the mirror. Helen and Mrs. Gansey stepped out of the room to greet make sure the final touches are complete before the ceremony. 

“Sadly I don’t know the tragic pain you’re going through,” Adam says. Studying between two ties, the navy blue one or the silk black, trying to figure out which would be better. He was all for the navy, but the more he looked, the more he liked the black. “Why didn’t you get flats?” 

“Because my monster in law chose them for me, said that her grandmother wore them on her wedding day or some traditional bullshit like that,” Blue says. She looks over at him. “Just go with the black tie. Black goes with everything.” 

Adam nods and does so, neatly putting it around his neck, knotting it with perfect precision. He’s feeling a little nervous, as Blue’s best man, he wants everything to be perfect for her wedding. He was a bit worried about Gansey’s family because they could be a bit controlling of such a momentous occasion like the youngest Richard getting married. Helen, Gansey’s older sister, helped choose the venue, helped choose the flower arrangements, and called the best photographer in Washington who has a hundred thousand followers on Instagram. Helen was nice in a terrifying way that ensures she always gets her way. Adam wonders how Helen’s wedding would look like if the day ever comes. 

Adam couldn’t be happier for Blue and Gansey. It was a perfect May afternoon and the ceremony is in an hour. Blue’s dress was absolutely stunning on her. She bought it cheap at a second hand clothing boutique and her and Maura fixed it up with lots of lace and a cloth that was flowy. She wore a jeweled headband on her short black hair that Persephone gave her that looks vintage and lovely.

“Can you check and see if my eyeliner is even?” Blue walks over and closes her eyes as Adam leans in to check. After confirming her black cat’s eye is indeed even, they pour themselves small glasses of wine. “To us,” Blue raises her glass. “May God help us all surviving this night full of Ganseys.” 

Adam snorts but raises his glass loyally. “Oh, it won’t be so bad, soon-to-be Mrs. Gansey.” After clinking their drinks softly, they sip while grinning at each other over the rims. “You’re glowing, Blue.” 

She beams and her cheeks pinken. “I guess I’m a little happy.” 

Adam hums, teasing, then the door cracks open. “Peek a boo,” The side of Henry Cheng's peeps through at them. He’s hair is freshly raised in some goop he uses to keep it up and he steps in the room with his eyes twinkling at Blue. “Wow Wendy Bird, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” 

“I look damn good, right?” Blue says, proud and smug. Henry prompts her to spin with a finger and she does so with a graceful flourish. Henry claps delighted.

“And you,” Henry’s voice high pitched at the  _ you. _ “My my, Parrish, you clean up nicely yourself.” 

Adam shrugs helplessly. “Gotta dress my best as the best man.” Blue winks at him.

“I’m glad you chose the black tie,” Henry says, eyeing him up and down. “Lynch is all in black, so it’ll look good that the two best men are matchy matchy.” 

At the simple mention of  _ Lynch _ Adam’s lip curls in disgust. Ronan Lynch was the epitome of asshole. Adam couldn’t stand the guy, ever since they met well over four years when Blue started dating Gansey. The icy man was rude, sarcastic, and Adam’s least favorite person, well save from his parents, but. He’s tried time and time again to get to know the guy, but it always just ends in bickering and fights. It’s going to be a long night for Adam to be in his presence all night. 

Stuck in his clouding dark thoughts that was Ronan fucking Lynch, Blue makes a helpless sound. “This stupid piece of hair won’t stay put.”

“I’ll get my hair product, it works like a dream,” Henry suggests.

Blue scrunches her nose. “No, that stuff smells weird.”

“It does not!” Henry exclaims. Without another word, Henry rushes out of the room. Henry would argue with anyone that hair is the number one importance to your appearance. Adam thinks he’s just a tad bit dramatic. 

Blue rolls her eyes. “He is not touching me with that hair glue.” 

Adam’s phone buzzes in his suit pocket and he takes it out. Noah sent a message and a blurry picture of Gansey was sent, his eyes red. Adam huffs a laugh. “By the looks of it, Gansey’s already in tears.” 

Blue groans. “God, he’s going to be a mess. Will your speech cause major tear spillage?” 

Adam shrugs. “I sure hope so.” 

The door opens, more like slams, and in barges Calla, Maura, and Persephone clad with beautiful dresses in different shades of purple, with two greasy brown bags. Immediately the smell of burgers waft through the room. “Thank God,” Blue says loudly, rushing to Calla, hands open and ready for food. They both haven’t eaten all day, and dinner wouldn’t be until six. 

Calla slaps her hand away. “No eating in the dress, get your robe on and I’ll feed you.” Maura helps Blue slip her arms into the fluffy white robe, while Blue opens her mouth for a fry. Adam smiles at Maura when he sees her blink rapidly. 

Persephone’s two voice rings through the quiet chewing of Blue. “Adam, we’ve brought food for you, too.” Persephone looks glorious and mystical in her long sleeved lilac dress, her long hair braided long along her back. 

“Thank you,” Adam says as his stomach growls. Opening the bag, he leans over on the table the bag sits on so if any food falls it doesn’t touch his suit. 

“Hurry before Helen comes in and gathers us all for photos,” Maura says, trying to fix Blue’s hectic hair as she munches on. 

“Ma, I’m not gonna be able to wear these heels all night,” Blue complains with a mouthful of burger. 

“That’s why I brought your high tops.” 

Blue smiles at her with genuine love. “A lifesaver.” 

Maura smiles back and goes about her motherly duties. 

Adam enjoys his food gratefully, licking the grease off his palm and fingers, feeling stuffed. He helps Maura put on Blue’s veil for the pictures and then Helen comes in, wearing her very revealing yet still classy black dress, her red lips turned up in a smile. The photographer behind her, his camera at the ready. 

Flashes of light make Adam blink as the cameraman takes shots of Blue getting ready, of Maura and Blue smiling at each other as they hold hands. Of Adam and Blue. Then Helen comes in grinning. Mrs. Gansey rushes in and beckens everyone outside. “Brides pictures are first, then the grooms! Noah and Henry and Calla are already outside.”

The ceremony is at a garden slash restaurant, and there’s a big area nice enough for pictures near a stone fountain. It’s sunny but not overbearing as they walk out, Adam’s styled hair getting in his eyes in the breeze. Blue and Maura stand for pictures alone first, smiling brightly, the sparkling water of the fountain shining behind them. 

They take their turns, and Adam’s jaw hurts from smiling so much, and there will be more photos after that he needs to stand for. Twenty-five minutes later, Mrs. Gansey shooes Blue away and a few minutes later, Gansey comes out with his best man. 

Adam tries his best to keep his eyes on the man of the day, but his eyes stray betraying to Gansey’s best man. 

Adam wants to sneer at how unfortunately handsome Ronan Lynch is. It’s not fair, with his stupid long legs fitted perfectly in black slacks and his stupid eyes that snatch on to you and makes you want to swoon. Adam blinks and takes the thought back immediately. The only emotion Ronan Lynch makes Adam feel is anger and annoyance. And his face makes Adam want to punch him. 

“There’s my handsome boy!” Mrs. Gansey exclaims, her arms raised as she takes her son’s cherry red face in her hands. She fixes the  boutonniere on his suit and Gansey rolls her eyes, embarrassed. 

“Mother, stop.” 

Adam snorts at Gansey being babied. Gansey hears it and he looks to him. “Oh, Adam. You look wonderful,” he gushes, sniffing. Going in for a hug, Adam laughs. “You really do, you’re such a handsome guy.” 

“Thanks Gansey,” Adam laughs. Over Gansey’s shoulder, Ronan rolls his eyes, glaring at Adam in disgust.

Adam matches his fierce gaze with his own. Fuck, he looks good in a black suit. The fucking bastard. 

“The ceremony is approaching! Let’s get pictures done now, Gansey, where the hell is your father?” 

The pictures fly by quickly, Mrs. Gansey badgering everyone about their smiles and hair. First, Gansey with the parents, Gansey with his sister, Gansey with the best men, then the groomsmen, then just the best men. 

Adam didn’t like that part, standing next to Ronan, trying his best for a genuine smile while he was too tense standing next to Ronan, while Ronan muttered stupid insults under his breath like  _ Nice hair, Parrish, cut it yourself?  _ and  _ Your tie is crooked _ , making him look down even though it was perfectly straight. 

When they were done, Adam’s mood was slightly soured, but Adam stayed by Henry and Gansey so he doesn’t start snipping back. Adam is the more mature one, that’s for sure. 

Adam, Henry, Noah, and Calla rush to get Blue ready, ready to walk down the aisle before the bride. “Oh, fuck, it’s happening,” Blue whispers as they walk. Adam quickly squeezes her arm in comfort. 

After quick hugs and whispered I love yous, Calla goes down the aisle, holding a bouquet of purple and white flowers, then Henry, then it’s Adam’s turn. Everyone is facing them, and quiet soothing harp music is playing as Adam walks down slowly and walks to stand on Blue’s side, smiling at Gansey’s tearful face. 

When Blue stands at the end, everyone stands, the small band off to the side begins, the harp, piano, and violin play a romantic song as Blue starts walking, eyes solely on Gansey. 

Adam hears Gansey sniff loudly and has to contain a laugh because he’s so helpless at hiding his emotions. Blue chose a real winner, and Adam’s so happy his two best friends are so perfect for each other. 

The marriage officiant spoke in a calming voice, vows were said, Blue’s short and sweet, Gansey’s a mess of tears and stumbling words of utter adoration. It was madly sickening. When they’re pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Gansey, Adam tears up and wants to cheer them on as they kiss. Once the family and friends shout, Adam does so, clapping loudly. 

The married couple skip down the aisle smiling at their guests, then the groomsmen and bridesmaid follow. Even scowling Lynch seems genuinely happy. 

After the ceremony, a group of waiters and waitresses come out with champagne and  hors d'oeuvres.

Adam leaves the bride and groom for all the congratulations they’re getting. Noah, Henry, and Lynch are gathered round a high table and Adam walks over to join. Noah pats his back. “Ready for your big speech, Adam? Ronan of course didn’t write anything down.” 

Ronan sniffs, taking a sip of his beer. “Well, unlike Parrish, but I speak from the heart.” 

Cooly, Adam tilts his chin up. “You have a heart? Since when.” 

“Wow,” Ronan says in a bored tone that he knows damn well riles Adam up. “Good come back. One of your best, Parrish. You’ve finally shocked me.” 

Adam bites his lip to stop himself from snapping. “Oh dear,” Henry sighs looking between him and Lynch. “Noah, shall we leave these two? We don’t want to get between the lovers’ spat.” 

Before Adam could beg them not to leave him alone with Ronan, Noah entwined their arms together and they’re off. Adam groans and looks to Ronan, who is watching him with a mean smirk. “Why do you have to be an asshole all the time?”

“You started it,” Ronan says innocently. God, he’s such a child. 

“When have I started shit?!” Adam asks, indignant. 

“When you spilled red wine all over my jacket on my birthday, which by the way, I never invited you to my birthday dinner.” 

Adam’s eyebrows raise so far he bets they disappear behind his bangs. “I did not purposely do it, you ran into me when you were tipsy, you stupid drunk.” 

Ronan takes another sip of his beer. “Well, I have to be drunk off my ass to deal with your prissy self.” 

Adam takes a sip of his own. “Fucking tell me about it.” 

“Don’t copy me,” Ronan says as he watches Adam drink. 

“I’m not fucking copying you.” 

“You are fucking too.” 

“No! You’re giving me a fucking migraine,” Adam says, his voice getting louder, stepping closer to jab his pointer finger hard at Ronan’s chest. 

“Just looking at you gives me a migraine,” Ronan snaps, gripping the neck of his bottle in a tight grip. 

A flash of light startles them, and the cameraman is there pointing his camera right at them bickering. 

“Great shot, guys,” he says sarcastically.

“Fuck off,” Ronan snarls.

It’s going to be a long night.

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The dinner and reception was at a Hilton. The Gansey’s blocked a bunch of rooms for the bride and groom as well as the guests, and rented out the bar and lounge at the hotel. Adam sat next to Blue with Henry to his left. The reception was nicely decorated with nice center pieces of real flowers and fairy lights. With an open bar and a huge dance floor, Adam knew that he would be up for a long while. 

Right away, the first course of salad appears at each table. An enjoyable cesar salad with bread and butter to start off with and the main course of Scallops and shrimp or broiled chicken with mashed potatoes were on the menu for guests and to end the night off with a brownie and ice cream. 

Adam enjoyed talking with Henry and Blue, leaning over when Gansey began a tale or two as they ate. Adam stole a bit of shrimp from Blue while she did the same with Adam’s chicken. “I haven’t had rich people food in awhile,” Blue said as she bit into her scallop. 

Gansey leans over and forks a scallop and shrimp of his own. “It’s pretty decent for hotel food.” 

Blue shares a look with Adam.  _ Rich people. _

About a half hour later, Adam took in the other guests around the room who were feasting their dessert and decided it would be a good time to make his best friend speech. He certainly wanted to speak first before Lynch. He didn’t want to brag, but Adam thought it was a pretty damn good speech that would make everyone laugh and tear up. 

Adam clears his throat and stands. Immediately, his table notices and quiets down. Blue grins up at him, and Gansey automatically tears up. It takes awhile for everyone to quiet down, he needs to tap his glass multiple times before all eyes were on him. “Blue has been my best friend for a long time,” Adam starts with a smile. “We’ve been through a lot together, and she’s one of the most important people in my life.” Blue squeezes Adam’s wrist. “When Blue met Gansey, well,” Adam huffs, pausing to look at them both. “Blue absolutely hated Gansey, and I think that’s an amazing start to any love story.” 

Everyone clapped at the end of his speech. Gansey was sobbing and babbling his thanks as he hugged and squeezed him. Blue sniffled, a tear or two spill. Adam was very proud. When he sat down Ronan sprang up, his face pinched in discomfort. Adam hid his smirk in his glass as he drank. Ronan has never been good with words. Again, not like the best man speech was a competition. 

“Well,” Ronan starts gruffly. “Dick was always disgustingly enamored with the Maggot. I nearly threw up every time I had to witness them, it sucked being in the same room for a long time. But I had to get used to it quickly. Because I knew right away that they were forever. A love like theirs is so genuine and is something we all hope for ourselves,” Ronan turns and looks at Gansey, then Blue. His gaze wasn’t a mean thing like it usually was. It was open, and Adam couldn’t stop watching. Then he looked at Adam for a second before turning back to face the room and his stomach turns, he pretends it’s in a bad way, but his heart betrays him when it skips. “I certainly hope for it, and wonder if I’ll ever feel a bond so strongly with another person like Gansey does with Blue.” 

Adam wasn’t even mad at how nice Ronan’s words were. He was pleasantly surprised that not one curse word was said. 

When dessert was finished, the tables were cleared and Gansey and Blue stepped up to walk to the dance floor. Hozier’s  _ Like Real People Do  _ begins and the bride and groom melt together and start swaying. Adam watches with a smile, his chest getting tight as he watches his friends dance with their eyes locked on each other, hand in hand. 

Henry blows his nose in a napkin, eyes watery already and Adam laughs softly, full of joy. He loves being here with people he cares about so much, and who care about him in equal measure. Adam hears a quiet murmuring to his right and he turns his head to see Ronan’s lips move as he sings the lyrics under his breath. Adam watches the blue and white lights dance across Ronan’s face, leaving it in shadows, his eyes watching the couple dance. 

_ Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, _ Ronan sings softly, swaying slightly. His head turns and Adam’s eyes are locked on Ronan’s and Adam stops breathing, locked in the moment with Ronan looking at Adam and Adam looking back.  _ We should just kiss like real people do _ . Adam blinks slowly and looks down, away from Ronan’s ice blue eyes, his face heating up. He takes a gulp of ice water and watches the couple sway and kiss softly, a flash of light from the camera going off once in a while. 

“Man,” Henry whispers close. “I want to get married.” 

Adam smiles. “You think it’ll be any time soon?” 

Henry scoffs good naturedly. “Better be, Noah better get his shit together.” 

Adam snorts and bumps their shoulders together. 

Nearing the end of the song, Mr. and Mrs. Gansey stand and walk toward the dance floor, beginning to sway in circles near the couple of the day. Henry stands up, and walks to Noah’s chair with a hand stretched out. 

More and more couples rise to dance slowly and Adam feels painfully single. Ronan sits two chairs away, looking tense and uncomfortable. He sneers when he catches Adam’s eye and Adam looks away, awkward. 

****  
  


He took a sip of champagne swallowing it down before taking a gulp. He feels a sense of dread when he recognises Tad Carruthers, a fellow friend of Gansey’s from the last of their Harvard years, approaching his side of the table. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“Hey Parrish,” Tad says, sweeping a hand through his slicked back blonde hair. “Long time no see.” 

He hears a long sigh from his right. He plasters on a kind smile. “Oh hey, yeah. How’ve you been?” 

“Oh just swell,” Tad nods his head. “Just working at my pop’s company, you know how it is.” 

He didn’t really know, but Adam nodded anyways. 

“Want to dance?” Tad says abruptly that he winces. “We can catch up?” 

“Oh, uh,” Adam stutters. He doesn’t know why his head turns the other way, but he sees Ronan’s dark pinched expression and feels a churning in his gut that made him feel slightly ill. Champagne sometimes disagreed with his stomach, Adam deduced. “Sure, I guess.” 

They walked, quiet and nervous as they walked to the filled dance floor. The next few songs were slow and romantic. Adam was tense when Tad took his hand and gripped his waist. “So,” Tad smiled. “What have you been up to?” 

Adam shrugs, trying to step back when Tad try to step so close their chests touched. “Just working, I just moved into a new apartment.” 

“Oh?” Tads eyebrows raised in interest. “Where at?” 

Adam lied. “Near Randall Road, near the Bubble Tea place.” It’s where he lived before he moved into his current apartment a half hour away. 

“Yeah, that’s a nice area!” Tad said in approval. “I’m really glad to catch you here.” 

“Oh yeah. It’s good to catch up a bit.” 

“Yeah! I’d love to see you more, like we can go for coffee,” Tad says, hope clear in his tone. 

“Well, maybe. I really do work a lot,” Adam says, hoping Tad’ll  _ get it _ and drop attempting to ask him out. 

Tad’s face falls. Adam might feel a bit bad, but really, Tad is just not his type. They make small talk, stunted and awkward now that Adam’s turned him down. 

When the slow songs finally end and the fun songs began. Tad and Adam break away and smile and nod at each other and Tad turns to leave. Adam looks at the happy dancing bodies and he sees his table empty. 

He knows where Ronan is when he sees he’s not sat at their table. He maneuvers himself around people to get to the bar and sees the familiar shaved head. His hunched over a whiskey glass, staring at the contents. Adam orders a rum and coke and turns his back, leaning against the bar, elbows resting on the counter top. Adam knows Ronan’s aware of Adam’s presence when his shoulders hunch further. “Fun times with Carruthers?” 

“Nah,” Adam says, stirring the ice with his finger. “He asked me out.” 

Ronan makes a pained sound in the back of his throat. “Who the hell would want to deal with your sorry ass?” 

Ronan’s remark is meant to sting, to make Adam throw his drink against a wall and start screaming back. Adam takes a deep breath and grins haughty. “Hell if I know.” 

Ronan turns around so he mirrors Adam. Adam watches Ronan’s adam’s apple bob as he swallow. “What about you?” 

Ronan peers at him, questioning. “What  _ about _ me?”

“Any one who you fancy for a dance?” Ronan watches him, unsettling Adam in a way he’s never felt before. “Or do they already know how much of a pain in the ass you are?” 

Ronan’s lips quirk. “Must be that.” 

Adam hums. “Guess we’re in the same boat then.” 

Ronan shudders. “Ew.” 

“Boys!” Noah yells. Their friends are all in a circle, dancing to LMFAO’s  _ Sexy and I Know It _ , all beckoning to them. “Don’t be a stick in the mud and come join us!” 

Ronan groans. “I’m not drunk enough for this shit.” 

Adam nods his head in agreement as Noah and Blue shake their asses to the crazy beat. “Come on, Lynch. If I have to suffer, you’re suffering with me.” 

Ronan sneers at him but sets his drink down. “Again, ew.” 

They walk over, and Henry cheers, putting his hands on Adam’s shoulders, making them move together and Adam laughs. He’s not the best dancer, and his rhythm is dreadful but he still moves his hips along with Henry. 

Sweaty from dancing song after song, the group stumbles to the bar to order a round of shots. “To Blue and Gansey!” They all cheer and drink. 

Adam’s never been a fan of drinking to get intoxicated, but for one night, he doesn’t really care if he lets loose. He’s with his friends, he has nothing to worry about, so when they order yet another round of tequila shots, Adam lets out a loud whoop. 

When they’re steadily more drunk, they go back out to the dance floor. Adam loosens his tie so he doesn’t feel as restricted and claps along to the beat. 

“You can’t handle your liquor, huh, lightweight?” Ronan’s low voice says amused as he walks alongside him to the dance floor. 

Adam sticks out his tongue as his head does feel a bit fuzzy. Ronan laughs, making Adam grin. “Fuck off Lynch, you don’t get to say that to me, you dick.” 

When the song,  _ Twist and Shout _ by the Isley Brothers starts, Adam’s eyes widen and he starts jumping. Because he doesn’t want to dance alone, he grabs Ronan’s wrist and shakes it jerkily so he gets the message to join him. He throws his arms up and shouts the lyrics, twisting his hips and hopping with the music. When Ronan laughs along, jumping, not as excitedly as Adam, but jumping nonetheless, Adam cheers. 

As the beat gets faster, the more dizzy Adam gets, but it’s a good dizzy so he doesn’t stop. He closes his eyes and moves his feet. When hands wrap around his waist slowly, he steps closer and wraps his arms around Ronan’s neck. Adam opens his eyes to see Ronan grinning devilishly, the only warning he gets before Ronan spins them over and over again. Adam squeals, the room getting blurry, Ronan’s happy sweaty face the only thing clear to him. He tightens his hands around Ronan and clenches his teeth in a grin because his stomach is swooping like he’s riding a roller coaster. Exciting. 

“You’re not gonna barf on me, are you, Parrish?” Ronan asks. 

Adam clenches his eyes shut as he feels his body stumble as they slow. “No,” He says, trying to get his breathing normal. “Water. I need water.” 

Ronan nods and they lean on the other to get to the bar without falling on their asses. Adam doesn’t spot Gansey or Blue so he figures they moved into their suite for the night. They’d be off to their honeymoon to the Bahamas in the morning tomorrow. The parties still going. He spots Calla dancing with her heels off, a wine glass in her hand by herself. 

Ronan orders them two waters and they sit on the barstools. Adam wipes the sweat off his forehead with his palm then wipes it on his slacks. He hears Ronan start to laugh, deep and sultry. 

“What?” Adam asks, a smile on his face. 

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” Ronan says, grinning at him. Being ridiculous seems like the best compliment Adam could ever receive. Warmth spreads through him and he wipes his forehead again.

The waters appear and they both drink until their glasses are nothing but ice cubes. The longer they sit at the bar, the quicker he realises how tired he is. It’s nearing two in the morning and Adam’s sweaty and his body is shutting down. He gets his phone out and he checks his messages that he’s got from Mrs. Gansey. All the photos the cameraman sent out already. He flips through them, annoyed that some of the photos had him where his hair was all over the place from the wind. He stopped at the photo of him and Ronan bickering after the wedding ceremony, and bursts out laughing. 

You can see Adam’s angry expression as his face is distorted in anger, his finger raised while Ronan’s got a hand on his hip, his dark eyebrows furrowed. He bumps his foot against Ronan’s leg and passes his phone over. Ronan looks down and snorts in amusement. “Lovers spat,” he says, quiet with amusement, his voice slightly hoarse.

_ Lovers spat.  _ Why would Henry say that in the first place? 

_ Oh.  _ Adam slumps an elbow on the counter to rest his face in his palm. The lighting has gotten softer the later it gets, its beams making Ronan’s sharp cheekbones smooth instead of something you would think would cut you if you laid a finger on Ronan’s pale skin. He looks ethereal, something godlike instead of just a young man. He’s never noticed how long and thick his lashes are, everything about him is positively striking. 

“Your hair is fucked up in all of these,” Ronan says, eyes on Adam’s phone as he flips through the photos. 

“Not all of them,” Adam argues softly. 

Ronan makes a face then slides Adam’s phone back to him. Adam reaches for it before Ronan can remove his hand, causing Adam’s fingers to slide against the back of Ronan’s. His eyes flit to Ronan’s as Ronan slowly removes his hand to place it on his thigh. “Your hair is still fucked up.”

“So what?” Adam says, watching as Ronan’s eyes wander, to his lips, lingering, then higher to his hair.

_ Touch it, _ Adam begs.  _ Run your hands through it. Just touch me. _

Adam swallows with how much he wants Ronan to move, to do anything then just fucking stare at him, but he doesn’t move. 

“Hi guys,” A light voice makes them jump, whatever moment they had broken. “Sorry to bother you.” 

A young woman with long flowy brown hair and a pink dress is standing next to Adam, a nervous smile on her pretty flushed face. All Adam wants to do he say, yes, you are very much interrupting. He settles for a quiet hi instead. 

“I was just wondering if you wanted to dance,” she says to Adam. “I’ve been wanting to ask you all night, but I wasn’t sure if you two were together.” Her eyes flick to Ronan. 

Adam’s eyes widen because. He laughs. Him and Ronan together, yeah right. “No,” He says, chuckling. He looks over the Ronan because it's pretty funny. But Ronan’s not laughing. His eyes are the cold icicles that they usually were when Ronan was pissed off. And it’s pin-pointed right at him. Adam stops laughing immediately. “No,” he whispers. “We’re not together.” He ignores how sad he sounds. 

“Great!” She exclaims, and Adam wants to snap at her, because no, it’s not great. Fuck, maybe he did drink his limit. He’s never thought of this weird shit before. “So, wanna dance?” 

Ronan’s jaw is locked tight, he raises his glass and crunches the ice. He turns away and slides off the barstool, and stalks away. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I guess I can dance now.” 

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The girl, Alyssa, was really sweet. She was a veterinarian and she talked about her four year old niece she watches a lot. She was sweet, but Adam’s brain wouldn’t shut up about a certain icy-eyed asshole. 

Was that really a moment they shared, was it a romantic fucking moment they had? Ronan’s never been one to talk about his romantic relationships, especially with Adam. He knows he hasn’t dated in years, according to Gansey, so he doesn’t know when the man’s flirting techniques are like. 

Oh God, he can’t even begin to think about what being a relationship with Ronan Lynch would be like. That doesn’t stop his body from reacting at the simple thought of it. But Adam’s been good at hiding his feelings and thoughts. After tomorrow, Ronan will go back to his like, and Adam his. He’ll forget in no time.

Adam says goodbye to Alyssa near half past three, a paper slip with her number on it that Adam crumples and slips it in his pocket to dispose of later. He grabs his key card from his other butt pocket and curses when he drops it. His room is on the third floor, so he punches the elevator button to go up and waits, feeling his head ache slightly from how tired he is. 

He walks down to 324 and swears when his keycard beeps red three times. “What the fuck?” 

The door across from his opens and he looks over his shoulder, surprised anyone was still up. Ronan’s form leans heavily on the doorway. Adam frowns. Ronan’s only in boxers and a white tank top, and he’s positively hammered. And pissed. Never a good combination. 

“Why are you so drunk?” Adam asks. 

“Why are you such a fucking prick?” Ronan slurs, lips wet and puffy like he’s been biting them. 

“What did I do now?” Adam asks. He knows he’s adding fuel to the fire, but he’s curious. 

“What you always do,” Ronan says. “You’re always…” Ronan mumbles, slurring off his sentence by drinking a mini glass of tequila. 

“I’m always?” Adam says, trying to get Ronan to finish what he was going to say. 

“Up here,” Ronan snaps, a finger raising to his forehead. “You fucking asshole.” 

Adam blinks in surprise, leaning his back fully against his door, his heart racing. Ronan shakes his head, like he’s disgusted with himself. “Y’know, I don’t get it. You’re not even that great, when Ganse talked ‘bout how great Adam fucking Parrish is. All I saw was pathetic-ness. You weren’t fucking real.” 

“What?” Adam shakes his head. “I don’t understand.” 

Ronan growls. “I mean, you were fake. Pathetic. Not real, you faked your accent, where you came from, nothing but trash. You could fool Gansey but not me. A hate liars, Parrish.” 

Adam gasped, he furrows his brow. “Why are you saying all this now, too much of a coward to say this sober?” 

Ronan laughs. “You were so fake back then. Nothing to look twice at. Yet…” 

“You know what your problem is Ronan?” Adam says, feeling embarrassment stabbing into him from being so painfully known. “You think you know everything about everyone. You don’t get the right to judge me for who I am. I made a life for myself. A good life. What kind of life do you have?” 

Ronan drops the empty bottle, his body hunching together, building a wall between them. Adam continues, bringing home the killing blow. “You live a sad lonely life because you don’t let people in. You talk big, but your bark is worse than your bite. You’re scared, aren’t you? To let people in. Drop the asshole act, because I see through you just as well as you can see through me.” 

Adam waits for Ronan to say something more. When he doesn’t Adam turns and quickly puts his key to the magnetic lock and luckily the light finally turns green. When safely inside, he slams the door. 

Breathing hard, he sheds his clothes, not caring at the moment that his nice suit will get wrinkled. He feels hot and he needs sleep. Sleep Ronan’s words away. Quickly using the bathroom, he flops onto his king sized bed and brings the duvet up to his face, closing his eyes. Sleep doesn’t come right away. The words over and over repeating in his head. Fake fake fake. 

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


His phone is buzzing. Stops. Then begins again. 

Adam groans, slamming his head against his pillow when he feels for his phone on the bed with his eyes still closed. Almost eight o’clock. Blue’s name flashes on the screen and he swipes up.

“I’m happy you’re going to the Bahamas, but it’s been a  _ night _ and I need fucking sleep,” Adam says, voice rough from sleep. 

He doesn’t register the sounds in the background until Blue’s voice croaks. “We need help. SOS.” 

Adam sheds the duvet and slips into a pair of sweats he unpacked before the reception. “I’ll be there in a second.” 

He pisses quickly and grabs his keycard, opening the door. Ronan’s already outside of his own door when Adam pauses in his tracks. He looks bad, but not as bad as he could be when he was that drunk hours before. His eyes are dim, but the bright icy they usually are, and he looks somewhat guilty.

_ Good.  _ Adam doesn’t say a word as he walks down further to Blue and Gansey’s suite. He hears Ronan’s feet behind him. Adam guesses he got the same SOS message. 

Blue opens right away, and Adam winces at how pale her complexion is. “We’ve been up puking since fucking dawn.” 

“Jesus, gross, Maggot,” Ronan’s voice comes from close behind him. Adam pushes passed Blue to get away from him. He hears the sounds of retching from the bathroom. 

“What the heck happened?” Adam asks, feeling Blue’s forehead. 

“The fucking scallops happened,” Blue snaps, then slaps a hand to her mouth before running to the bathroom. 

The room was hot and didn’t smell the best. Gansey shuffled out, looking more green than pale, his eyes watering. “Everyone who ate the fish is sick. This awful food poisoning.”

Blue yelled out. “I’m suing this goddamn hotel.” Followed by gagging. 

“Gordon Ramsay would be so disappointed,” Ronan says seriously. 

Adam says in his best British accent, which wasn’t so good at all. “They’re fuckin’ raw.” He’s watched many  _ Hell’s Kitchen  _ episodes back in the day.

Ronan snorts, and Adam grins before they scowl at each other. They’re not friends, not after last night, Adam knows they’re still a long fucking way off. 

“I’m so glad you two think this is hilarious,” Gansey snaps, wiping beads of sweat off his brow. Adam sobers quickly, looking worried.

“Sorry, what can we do?” 

Blue comes back out, a miserable look on her face. “Our honeymoon,” she begins, somewhat cautiously. “We can’t go.” 

Adam tsks, because what an awesome trip to miss. “Maybe you’ll feel better in a few days.”

Gansey shakes his head. “At this point, I think we’ll need our stomachs pumped.” 

“It’s a non-refundable trip, Adam. Two weeks starting today, we can’t do anything about it now, it’s too late.” 

Gansey groans, sitting down on the bed clutching his stomach. “We know it’s last minute,” He struggles to get out. “But we thought you two should go in our place.” 

“What?” Ronan snaps. “No fucking way.” 

Adam gapes. “Yeah, no way am I going.” 

Blue levels him with a dangerous glare. “I did not waste so much fucking money for no one to enjoy. You two are our closest friends, we thought you would enjoy a vacation.” 

“I don’t know if you know this, but I can hardly stand his guts,” Ronan says lowly, fists clenched. “I think he feels the same about me.” 

Adam’s heart hurts. “Plus, what about Henry and Noah who are the actual couple?”

Blue groans. “Scallops, remember?” 

Shit. Were they really the only ones who ate the chicken? Two weeks. Alone with Ronan on a tourist Island known for being a romantic getaway? It would only end in disaster. 

“I don’t know Blue,” Adam starts. “I can’t get two weeks off of work so suddenly.” 

“Don’t bullshit me Adam. You’re head honcho, you’ve never taken a day off, you can go.” 

“It’s a bad fucking idea,” Ronan warns.

“The worst,” Adam agrees. 

“You’re going,” Blue and Gansey say at the same time. 

An hour later, Adam calls his boss, and he quickly approves Adam’s time off. Blue hands over her plane ticket and the itinerary of the trip. Two hours later him and Ronan are waiting for their flight to be announced in tense silence.

Two weeks. With Ronan Lynch. On an Island. What could go wrong? Adam already knew the answer.  _ Everything  _ could go wrong. Everything  _ will  _ go wrong. 

On the overhead speaker, a woman announces their flight. Adam’s stomach starts to churn. 

This is an absolute fucking nightmare. 

****  
  



	2. spinning a tale of deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scallops are at it again.

The flight was absolutely miserable.

For one thing, Adam hates flying; absolutely shitting terrified. 

For another, they had 19 hours of flying, and had to change flights halfway. 

Lynch had no sympathy whatsoever for Adam’s anxiety, he just huffed and puffed whenever Adam made a distressed noise at a bump or when there was way too much turbulence. He was unbothered with his giant headphones, his shitty EDM playing tinnily out. 

At some point, when the quietness in the plane lulled Adam into a not so satisfying sleep, he felt an elbow hitting him, smushing into his cheek. “Stop fucking slobbering on me, Parrish.” To his horror, he felt drool on the side of his mouth, which he quickly looked away while discreetly wiping it away, his face burning. 

He tried reading, but after awhile he felt sick and couldn’t concentrate, so he decided to just rest his head against the seat to keep his breathing calm. Soon, they’d land and hopefully Adam could avoid Ronan the majority of the trip. 

Now, to Adam’s seemingly unfortunate luck, when they land (quite unsteadily, Adam might add) he has to rush to the nearest bathroom to retch up what was in his stomach (plane nuts and chips). Ronan had a curl to his lip in disgust when Adam came walking shakily out, like it was totally what Adam had wanted, him getting sick. 

It’s another horror when he see a pudgy old man with a cabby hat, holding a sign that said ‘Mr. and Mr. Lynch’. It feels like he was in some stupid romanitc comedy, although he has to have an ounce of feelings other than pure hatred for Ronan Lynch. 

Blue and Gansey will be paying dearly for this.

Lynch notices right away, his face utterly dark and tense. He stomped right up to the man with his fists clenched, getting in his face. “What kind of sick fucking joke is this?” 

Adam blinks, because  _ ouch _ . He doesn’t like it any more than Ronan does, but is  _ he  _ throwing a fit? No. Again, Adam is definitely the adult here.

“I presume you’re the lucky couple?” The cab man, Bart by the looks of his shiny nametag, asks with a happy tone, either not caring Ronan’s horrificness is popping his personal space, or more likely, he has to act polite to keep his job, no matter how much of an asshole his customer’s are. 

“I don’t know who the fuck told you we were a couple, but you’re mistaken,” Ronan says stormily. He looks over at Adam. “Clearly.” 

A stab of pain in his chest makes Adam place a hand to his heart, taking a deep breath, trying to sort through this mess. He pushes Ronan away to smile politely at the man. “Honest mistake, sir. It was supposed to be our friends who got married recently, but they got sick so we had to go in their place. Maybe they called to tell you to change the details. I’m Adam Parrish, my cranky travel partner is Ronan Lynch,” Adam says, wincing slightly because travel partner sounds stupid, but they weren’t necessarily buddy-buddy right now. 

The man chuckles, head tilting back as he clutches his belly. “My apologies gentleman. Shall we take our leave?” 

Bart grabs their bags and they follow him out. “Why would he assume I would take  _ your _ last name?” Adam mutters.

“Because you have a stupid shitty last name,” Ronan says, adjust his headphones back on his head. 

Sneering, Adam trips Ronan with an outstretched leg before walking faster to chat with Bart. Anyone is better company. He asks him how long has been in the cab service (Seven years) and if he lived on the island his whole life (moved here after retiring with his wife). Bart was nice and had a kind sense of humor. 

Adam chooses to sit in the passenger seat, and Ronan slams the door once settled and then they’re on the road. The weather was beautiful and Adam could already feel his body relaxing. There were tourists walking with families, the beaches were picturesque and Adam wished he bought a camera that took underwater photos. 

Halfway through the drive, Adam gets a text from their group chat. 

**Blue: how was your flight? Are you alive or did someone murder the other, please let me know. **

**Adam: I hate flying, I threw up. Lynch is absolutely horrendous. How do you guys feel?**

After sending that message, a swift hard kick to Adam’s back seat made him lurch. Then again. 

**Adam: It’s like I’m babysitting a five year old having a constant tantrum. **

Another kick, harder this time.

Bart notices. “If you get dirty footprints on my seat, I’ll have to charge you extra.” Adam smirks down at his phone. 

**Adam: Make that a four year old. **

Adam hears him huff and feels very smug about it. Knowing that Ronan hates texting and calling and phones in general, doesn’t write anything. Soon a few more buzzes come in. 

**Blue: Lynch, I know you’re reading this! Do not give Adam a heart attack**

**Gansey: Can’t you two just behave? **

**Blue: I know it’s mostly Ronan’s doing**

**Adam: Thanks, Blue.**

**Ronan: Shouldn’t you two be busy puking your fucking guts out?**

Adam snorts, shaking his head. “We’re here,” Bart sing-songs as he pulls into a large parking lot. The hotel they’re booked at is rich and extravagant. It has twenty floors and has five indoor pools. Adam doesn’t even know how much it costs, or else he’ll get sick again. 

They park by the door and Bart helps them get their bags out to hand to the doorman who comes. “Nice to meet you, sirs. I hope you have a nice time on this paradise.” Adam shakes his hand and hands him a nice tip. 

“Mr. and Mr. Lynch, please follow me to the lobby,” The doorman says kindly. Ronan’s face turns an explosive red and Adam squeezes his arm hard. Adam levels him with a glare, hopefully of the same level of the glare Gansey sometimes gives him. It seems to work, as Ronan just rips Adam’s grip off and doesn’t make a peep. 

The lobby is huge, with modern, sleek furniture, three chandeliers, lovely decorations that make Adam feel off, unworthy of being there. Something this fancy seems such a waste of money. What’s wrong with a simple hotel?  _ It’s a tourist destination,  _ Adam reminds himself.  _ Of course the cost is going to skyrocket here. _

“Parrish, lets go, stop gawking,” Ronan says, bumping their shoulders as he walks up to the front desk to check in.

“Any exciting plans for you two?” The doorman asks.

Adam shrugs. “No idea, I have an itinerary, but I haven’t read up on it, so we’ll see.” 

“You gotta be kidding me!” Ronan’s voice, nightmarish and impossible, rings out into the relatively empty lobby. Adam quickly runs to see what the problem is, not wanting to get kicked out so soon. 

“What’s wrong,” Adam snaps at Ronan, then gives an apologetic smile at the front desk worker, who seems young and scared of Ronan’s outburst. “Stop being a dickbag.” 

“We’re booked in a king room,” Ronan seethes, clenching his teeth. 

Oh. Yeah, that’s a bit problematic. “Um, you see, ma’am,” Adam says gently. “It seems that everyone thinks we’re married, but we’re not. You think I can handle this guy for the rest of my life? I’ll start graying by the time I’m twenty-five.”

The girl winces. “I’m so sorry, but we’re overbooked on double beds for the week. If anything frees up, I will make sure someone will call up to your room and we can switch you. But in the meantime, is there anything else I can do for you? Free breakfast?” 

“Amy,” Adam reads her nametag, sighing. He’s feeling a headache coming on. “A pull out, please.” Amy nods urgently. 

Ronan growls, but Adam punches his arm. “Let’s fucking go.” 

The doorman walks them to the elevator, punches the thirteenth floor, and they stand in silence. Ronan’s huffing, Adam knows he’s trying to calm his breathing down, which makes Adam even more pissed. “You know, we’re stuck here, so we better make the best of it. We’ll take turns having the bed.” 

“Whatever, I don’t give a fuck,” Ronan says. 

The doorman rushes out of the elevator, like he’s worried they’re going to jump each other with flying fists. They walk the long carpeted hallway to the room and the doorman opens the door for a quick tour, telling them there is 24 hour room service and for their room compensation the breakfast will be covered for them. “The pull out bed will be here shortly.” 

Then the doorman shuts the door quietly behind him and their alone. There’s a little hallway that you walk through to get to the perfectly made king size bed, with a gray comforter and seashell pillows. And because Adam’s life is just one huge joke, there are towels shaped in two swans with their necks in a heart shape in the middle of the bed. Ronan growls low and tosses it away, hitting the wall and crumbling apart. The first thing Adam does is open the door to their balcony and gasps in wonder. The view is amazing; with a perfect view of the sea. The waves calming Adam’s stressful day and he sits at the small dining set and gets his phone out for pictures. The sliding door open and Ronan’s face peeks out. “I’m napping, don’t wake me up.” 

Adam waves him away and the door slams shut. He brings Blue’s number up and presses Call. On the fourth ring she answers. “Are you calling me thanking me for this wonderful and stress free vacation?” Her voice sounds happy, but hoarse from her illness.

“Did you tell everyone me and Lynch are married?” Adam questions. 

“Wha’?” Blue asks then pauses. Then Adam hears cackles in the background and he slouches in his seat. “That’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Oh my God. What was Lynch like? Oh I bet he was furious.” 

“So funny, Blue,” Adam deadpans. “Lynch was very unhappy about it, almost killed three people with his laser glare already. How am I supposed to spend two weeks with him Blue? This is a bad idea.” 

Blue sighs over the line. “I think you two will be great friends if you get your heads out of your asses. You ignite something in the other. You set each other off, you’re quick to snap. Ronan fuels that by being extra asshole-y. You’re both awful at communicating.” 

“Why do you sound like a marriage counselor right now?” Adam huffs. 

“I’m trying to be matchmaker,” Blue mutters. 

Adam sputters. “What? What do you mean, in what way? You can’t believe we’d be good as a,” He can’t even say it.

“Couple?” Blue sing-songs, then giggles. “I’m not expecting that, just get along. When you’re back, I expect friendship bracelets on both of your wrists.” 

Adam picks at his nails. “So you’re expecting a miracle.” 

“Yes.” 

“I try, Blue. At the wedding, when we were dancing, I thought…” 

“You thought what?” She asks softly, soothing.

_ I thought there was a spark of something. Something good and exciting.  _ “I thought that if we got along for that time, maybe he’d stop being impossible for me to talk to.” 

“Honey, that’s the way he is,” Blue sighs. “I know he likes you, in his own way. He’s like an onion.” 

“Don’t quote  _ Shrek  _ at me right now,” Adam says, his lips twitching up. 

Blue laughs. “Okay, okay. So there’s the itinerary you’re supposed to follow. Tonight’s the dinner, then you get a free day, then the boating tour, then the diving and snorkeling, man I was looking forward to that, then-”

“Blue, I have the itinerary, I will read it and do it, okay?” 

“You mean ‘we’. You make Lynch go with you or else he’ll sit in the room and pout.”

“And the other thing! A king bed, Blue, really?” 

  
  
  
  
  


Adam gets off the phone with Blue after an hour of complaining and he decides enough is enough. He’s here in this beautiful island. He’s going to the beach. He’s getting a drink and laying on the hot sand until dinner. 

Ronan is still asleep, mouth open with his headphones askew. Adam sheds his shirt and goes to use the bathroom, which has a whirlpool bath. 

There’s a fancy glass bowl in between the two sinks filled with red and pink rose petals. He grabs the bowl and brings it back to the room with him. He stands over Ronan’s sleeping form and grans a handful of petals and tosses it near Ronan’s open mouth, successfully landing a few in. Ronan sputters, spit and flower bits flying out as he sits up. Adam continues to sprinkle them all over him with an evil grin. “Come on, husband. Let’s go down to the beach.” 

“What part of ‘don’t wake me up’ don’t you understand,” Ronan spits out and wipes his mouth, then he takes in Adam’s shirtless form. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t know if you noticed, Lynch,” Adam says snarkily. “That there’s a nice big beach just outside.” 

Ronan rolls his eyes in annoyance. “Gee, Parrish. A beach how exciting. What do I have to do with this?”

Adam puts a hand on his hip. “You’re coming with me.”

Ronan swipes all of the rose petals on the floor before slumping on his back. “I don’t want to go.” 

Adam frowns. “Dinner is on the itinerary tonight.”

“Do I give a fuck? No.” Ronan yawns, Adam thinks he’s faking. “I’ve had a long day, Parrish, with dealing with your whining on the plane. Go away.” 

Adam huffs. “I don’t want to go alone, can’t you just sleep on a beach chair?” 

Wordlessly, Ronan raises a hand to wave goodbye to him. Adam huffs and gives up. He rustles through his suitcase for his swim trunks. He bends down to shed his underwear and jeans right there, not giving a fuck if Ronan sees his bare ass. 

A choke noise squeaks behind him. “Fucking hell Parrish. There’s a goddamn bathroom.” 

Once his trunks were on, he spins on his feet to grab his sunglasses and sun lotion to bring with him, packing it in a little drawstring bag. “Fucking kiss my ass,” Adam spats. He grabs his phone and walks out, slamming the door behind him deliberately. 

He walks down the hallway to get to the elevator, and presses the ground floor. He’s in the lobby when he remembers his book that’s sat in his pack in the room. Cursing he power walks it back and taps his foot as the elevator ascends. He power walks it back to the room to get the book and slams the door back open. He hears a yelp from the bed and erratic shuffling, then a thump and when he walks he sees Ronan on the floor, his head peeking out from the top of the bed is the only part of him Adam can see. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

Adam blinks, eyeing Ronan’s surprised look, slightly red ears and face flushed, and decides to ignore him. He grabs his book and walks back out. 

He finally gets outside and turns his head to the sunshine, smiling softly. He takes the path to the open bar first, ordering himself some ice water before walking the crowded beach to look for an empty chair to lay in. 

There’s a group of people around his age playing volleyball in the shallow water, yelling and cheering as they bump the ball over. Many families with young children litter the beaches with their sand castles. 

Adam finds a vacant beach lounger and pulls it in the sand to a more quieter area and settles in with his book,  _ The Secret History, _ after placing a generous amount of lotion all over his skin so he doesn’t burn _ .  _

It’s a tedious read, and he can’t help but think of Richard Papen sort of like Gansey. The characteristics very similar. It’s a really interesting read. By the time he gets almost half way, he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open. 

In no time, the calming sound of the crashing waves and the cooling breeze helps lull him into a comfortable sleep, the stress of the flight and of being around a crabby Lynch melts away. 

Minutes or hours, he’s awoken by a shadow hovering over him and he jumps awake. Lynch is looming over him with a carefully bland expression. “Isn’t the dinner soon? You know with all the rich couples who want to brag about how much they spent on this vacation?” 

“Oh,” Adam mumbles tiredly, checking his watch, it was nearing six. “I figured you weren’t going.”

Ronan scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, well. Gansey texted me.” 

“Ah.” That makes sense. “You aren’t wearing that, are you? No husband of mine would ever dress so horrendously.” Adam says taking in Ronan's clumpy t-shirt and gray sweats with his bare toes buried in the sand. 

"Shut the hell up you dipshit," Ronan says, almost amused. He tugs a piece of Adam's windy missed hair and Adam smacks his hand away. 

"You're more cheerful, that nap did wonders for you," Adam observed as they walk back to the door. Ronan grunts and when he looks, Ronan's face is flushed. 

"I didn't mean to sleep so long," Adam says, to keep the conversation flowing. 

"Maybe I should check your nest of a head for bugs or a pelican or maybe a tiger shark." 

Adam combs his finger trying the make it stay down. "It's that bad? I could take a quick shower." 

"It's fine I'm just fucking with you," Ronan says, smirking. 

Adam rolls his eyes, smiling. "I should have known."

“It’s fine if you want to look like a loser,” Ronan says, smirking to himself as if he’s proud he said something snarky. “That’s what I meant.” 

Adam barks out a laugh and bodily flings himself to the side to push Ronan so he stumbles off the stone path. “At least I have hair. I think shaving your head just to look cool and intimidating is more loserly.” 

“Wow, now you’re judging bald people,” Ronan says with a mock glare. “Who knew you could be so harsh.” 

Adam shakes his head, walking into the lobby, nodding at the front desk man, Amy must have left, and they walk to the elevator. “I’m not judging everyone who is bald, I’m just judging you.”

“I’m so hurt, Parrish.” 

Adam hums carelessly. “Sure you are, Lynch.” 

As they go up, they bicker and make fun of the elevator music. They wonder about what kind of food will be served and if they have seafood they won’t touch it. “Did Gansey tell you he slept in the bathtub?” 

Adam snorts. “What? He did not.” 

Ronan laughs. “He really did, Blue made him because his puking kept her up so he stayed close to the toilet.”

“I’m sure they’re enjoying the marital bliss already.” 

Once they get to their room, Adam gets some close and showers, not wanting to be made fun of the whole night, while Ronan does whatever Ronan does when he’s left alone, which scares Adam to think about. 

He showers quick and makes sure his hair is styled good enough and brushes his teeth. He didn’t bring too many nice clothes, thinking he’d be sitting at the beach most of the stay, but he did bring along a black buttoned shirt that’s nice enough for a dinner. When he gets out of the bathroom, Ronan’s sitting at the end of the bed doing weird things to the towels that were once loving swans. “Are you trying to make pillow art?” 

“I am,” Ronan mumbles, distracted. He’s still in his rumpled black tank, his swirling ink distracting Adam for a minute as he watches Ronan’s shoulders move. But now he’s in dark washed jeans instead of the lazy sweats. “It’s hard as fuck.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have destroyed our swans,” Adam says, grabbing his shoes and sitting on the bed close to Ronan. 

“Swans are lame, penguins are way cooler,” Ronan says as he folds and ties. It looks like just a plain lump of white towel. 

“I think it looks good already,” Adam encourages, no sarcasm at all heard in his voice, but Ronan glares at him anyways. “We have to go, finish your towel art later.” 

The dinner is in a big room made for wedding receptions and parties. Big long tables are placed so they have no choice to sit by themselves, and are forced to socialize. And another realisation, every person sat seems to be with their significant other. Everyone is holding hands and kissing cheeks and a few women are going back and forth showing off their diamond rings. 

“Are we in Hell?” Ronan asks, blinking around the room. 

That startles a laugh out of Adam. “Should have brought the rings, dear.”

“Oh my God, I spot lesbians, let’s go,” Ronan says in a relieved sigh and hurries to the table closest to the far wall. Adam chuckles and walks after him. A couple of people around the table nod and greet them with polite hellos and Adam nods back. 

The couple in front of them, two women holding hands over the table, one who scarily looks like the female version of Ronan Lynch, with a black shaved skull and eyebrow piercings, and the other a blonde woman who is dressed in a nightgown. “And here I was thinking I had to dress up for this shit.”

Adam puts his hands on his forehead because of course Ronan fucking Lynch can’t manage not to curse within seconds he sits down. In front of many older people who peak at him worriedly like he’s the Devil incarnate. He’s going to have to pace himself. 

“That’s what you call ‘dressed up’?” The Ronan-looking woman says, her accent distinctly Brittish. She eyes him up and down with disinterest and shakes her head in disgusted pity. Her wife shushes her and rolls her eyes. 

Ronan’s puzzled look has Adam bust out laughing. The woman turns her gaze to Adam and winks. He loves them already. “Hello, cutie, I’m Bea,” Bea reaches over to shake Adam’s hand.

The blonde lady does the same. “Cynthia, excuse her. She’s clearly still hungover.” She’s most definitely the gentler one, her voice soft as if she had just woken up, with the nightgown and all. 

“Nonsense! Who is your scary looking husband here?” Bea stares at Ronan again. Adam wonders if she realises their similarities. Then he realises she said the ‘H’ word.

“Oh, we’re not-” Adam begins to say. 

“We’re not fucking married,” Ronan bites out. He definitely sees their similarities, and isn’t amused by it. 

Cynthia turns her expression to surprise. “Aw, well, I’m sure it’ll happen sooner than later. Unless you two don’t want to marry at all, then good on you.” 

“You are together though, aren’t you?” A strange woman who was probably in her seventies sitting next to Ronan asks, leaning almost in front of Ronan to look at Adam noisily and judgemental. 

“What’s it to you, lady?” Ronan snaps, leaning into Adam to get away from her smelly perfume that’s so strong it’s burning Adam’s nose. 

“Well,” she sniffs, “This  _ is _ a couple’s exclusive dinner party.” Then she points to a big board at the front of the entrance doors. It does indeed say ‘Welcome all couples!’ with three cartoon hearts with a man and a woman, two men, and two women kissing. Well, the bright side is at least the woman isn’t being homophobic. 

Adam should have read the itinerary more closely.

So, without any further snark from anybody, Adam makes it very clear to the woman. “Of course we’re a couple.” The older women raises a very long white eyebrow, so Adam gives her his most polite smile, and slowly places a hand on Ronan’s leg. Adam waits for him to rip it off, but he just freezes solid at the touch. “Been together four years now, I’m just waiting for him to pop the question.” He chuckles, trying to make it sound genuine and not at all forced. 

Cynthia buys it right away, cooing at them and patting Adam’s other hand across the table. “I know how you feel, love. This one took forever to ask, almost ten years, it’s been and we’ve only just gotten married!” 

People listening in congratulate the newly weds and Adam wants to leave, empty stomach be damned. Bea, on the other hand, is more questioning. “First date?” 

Adam knew what this was, a quick speedy round of 20 questions and Adam was ready for it. “He took me on a long drive.” 

Bea curls her purple lipsticked lips. “Lame.” 

“Not really, it was actually quite romantic,” Adam says, leaning more on the table, ready for the next shot to fire. Ronan’s probably going to kill him later, but Adam is so sick of people being nosy about them. 

“Where’d you have your first kiss?” Bea questions, eyes narrowing. 

“On his bed at his childhood home,” Adam says quick. “It was nearing midnight, our friends were downstairs. He found me there, sat next to me, took his toy car from my hands, and kissed me.” Because of those specific lies, Adam could tell she’s giving in and thinking they’re really a couple. 

“Who said ‘I love you’ first?” 

Adam pauses, taking a moment to finally look at Ronan, who’s been watching him this whole questioning match. If you’ve just met Ronan Lynch, then you would think just by looking at him, that he’s bored and uncaring. Adam’s had lots of time figuring out what mood he really is in, what he’s really feeling. The slight furrow of his dark brows ask Adam  _ what the fuck are you doing?  _ The tightness of his jaw tells Adam he’s stressed and worried about their situation. But his eyes aren’t closed off or angry, they’re open and light and soft. 

It makes his stomach flutter and Adam clears his throat. He forgot his hand was still placed on Ronan’s leg, so he squeezes his knee and takes it back to place it on his own lap. “Um, he did.” 

Surprised at that, she gives Ronan an accepting nod. The nosy old lady makes a cutesy sound that makes Ronan sneer. “You, Mr. Silent One, what’s your favorite thing about your significant other?” 

Oh God. This isn’t good. Ronan is not good in normal social situations, let alone lying about something so dastardly as faking a relationship. “Um, that’s really an unnecessary question to ask.”

“I’d love to know the answer,” Bea says sweetly. 

Adam was expecting Ronan to get out and storm out of the room without a word, go back in their room and sulk for the whole of their trip. But Ronan’s ears redden and he glances back at Adam. “He’s the strongest person I know.”

Adam has the clench his jaw hard so he won’t gape at him. “He’s brave and stupidly smart and so stingy and he’s an asshole at times and I think it’s adorable when he’s just woken up. His hair is a mess and his voice is soft and hoarse and his accent is more prominent.” 

Adam blinks, his heart working much too hard to be safe in order to circulate blood to his brain. He knows his mouth is fully open now, but it’s valid to do so, because Adam’s in quite a shock. Who knew Ronan could spin a story like that.

Ronan looks away and takes a small bun of bread and slathers soft butter on it. “He’s mostly an asshole, though. Emphasis on the ass.” 

The listeners chuckle and Cynthia has a wet sheen in her eyes and Adam needs to leave, because the tale they spun to the people around them is hurting Adam’s brain. “I have to use the facilities.” 

“Who says facilities?” Ronan mutters as Adam gets up.

He rushes out of the room to use the public bathroom which smells like vanilla and surprisingly not disgusting, and he goes to the sinks. His face is red and hot so he bends down to splash cool water on his forehead and cheeks. 

Ronan’s words were fucking up Adam’s mindset. They’re friends, but then they’re not. Adam thinks Ronan’s great one minute then he wants to get away from him the next when he blows up and they start fighting. 

Even then, everything in him screams that Ronan meant what he said there in the dining room for all those people, those strangers, to hear. But he needs to think rationally, that Ronan saved his ass when he said that they were together. 

It’s absolutely infuriating. 

His stomach rumbles, hungry since he hasn’t eaten since those plane peanuts and snacks throughout the day. So he steadies himself and gets his head in the game, because acting like he’s in a relationship with Ronan will surely kill him, and leaves to go back to the dining room full of loving couples.

Right when he sits down, Ronan gives him an assessing look to see if he’s okay and nods. Bea is frowning at him, slightly guilty. “Sorry for attacking you with questions, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Adam waves her off. “I just get a bit emotional, it’s shocking to the system when Ronan says such nice things to me,” Adam says smiling cheekily at his  _ significant other. _

Ronan bares his teeth. “You wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the dick, Parrish.” 

“Aw,” Bea says sarcastically. “Now that’s adorable.” 

There’s the sound of someone tapping a microphone, and all eyes turn to a woman in a business suit standing on the little stage in the middle of the floor. “Good evening, everyone!” She announces herself as the General Manager of the hotel, and thanks everyone for coming, and then finally waiters and waitresses come out and bring food and drink menus out. “Thank fuck,” Ronan mutters. Adam hums in agreement. 

His eyes immediately fall on the option for Scallops and Adam wants to die of laughter of seeing the evil seafood that got them here in the first place. 

“Mary mother of Jesus fuck,” Ronan says, too loud in the quietening room. Adam smirks at him, guessing he’s seen it too. Ronan looks at him with disbelieving wide eyes and they lean into themselves and start laughing. “We’re going to be haunted by scallops forever.” 

Adam laughs harder, his stomach hurting because it’s pretty much empty and his laughs are turning into painful hiccups. Ronan shoves a glass of water at him, sploshing his shirt a little, but Adam just tries to stop laughing in order to drink. 

They eventually order, and they both get the spaghetti and garlic bread, and to their horror, Bea gets the scallops and mashed potatoes. They warn her against it, but she wasn’t having it, and ordered it because she was stubborn. 

It was nice getting to talk to Bea and Cynthia, they lived in London. Bea was an art teacher at a university and Cynthia worked with middle schoolers. Bea was like Ronan photo-copy. They argued about which  _ Fast and Furious _ was the best as Adam got to know Cynthia. They talked about the weather in London and how Adam would love to visit one day. Cynthia has never been to America, but Bea’s been on a few trips. 

Food comes, and Adam starts forking pasta in his mouth, watching as Ronan pours mountains of cheese on his. “That’s disgusting.” 

Ronan looks offended, looking over at him. “You’re disgusting.” They both stop when they watch Bea grab a steaming scallop on her fork, she sniffs it first, then takes a tentative bite. 

She spits it out right when she chews once. “It’s fucking rubbery.” 

“It’s fucking rubbery!” Ronan announces to the table loudly in his horrible British accent, cheering his fork in the air, clinking it with Adam’s as they eat, laughing again. 

If Gordon Ramsay could see them, Adam thinks he'd kick Ronan’s ass for making fun of him. 

Bea eventually flags down a waiter to change her order so she wont die of food poisoning. Before the scallops are taken away, Adam takes a picture and sends it to the group chat so Blue and Gansey can laugh with them. 

The dinner goes by quickly, and it’s actually pleasant. Before Bea and Cynthia leave, Adam makes Ronan go sit next to her so he can take a picture of the doppelgangers, and sends that to the group chat for them to scream about forever. 

Adam gives him their numbers to meet up later during the trip, and they go their separate ways. On the elevator, Adam is a bit nervous Ronan’ll bring up their little story that happened at dinner, but he just presses the up button and stares straight ahead. 

Adam leans with his back against the wall. “Don’t know about you, but I can still eat more.” 

“Thank God, me too,” Ronan tilts his head to grin at Adam. “Chicken tenders and fries?” 

Adam smiles. “Fuck yes.” 

  
  
  
  
  


Once room service has been ordered, they both settle into their sweats and laid down on the bed. As far as they possibly can get, while Ronan flicks through the channels. “Movie genre?”

Adam shrugs. “Horror?” 

Ronan makes a displeased face, and Adam grins. He secretly knows Ronan is frightened of scary movies, thanks to Gansey. “I’m already living a horror movie. Being on this trip alone with you? Absolutely terrifying.” 

The smile that was alighting his face quickly melted away. Reality slammed into him, making his stomach seize. “Sorry about telling everyone about us being in a relationship. I just thought they’d stop bothering with it. It was annoying, having them give us so much shit.”

Ronan says quietly, almost muttering. “It’s fine, I get it.” Then he puts the remote down. “We’re watching  _ Jaws. _ ” 

The iconic movie soundtrack begins and Adam watches the TV without really seeing it, too much on his mind. “Okay, but we made a good team back there. You’re good at telling a convincing story. It seemed real, is all I’m saying. What you said.” 

Adam’s too nervous to look, but he hears Ronan do his smoker breath; in through his nose, out through his mouth. “I wasn’t lying, you know I don’t lie.” Now Adam has to look, and Ronan’s watching him like Adam’s dense, like he should have known the kind wonderful words he said  _ about _ Adam were true. 

Adam settles against the plush pillows and starts to overthink the whole conversation they had. When Bruce the shark ate the woman on screen, he sits up, face heating up. “You meant that I looked adorable when I just wake up?” 

“What?” Ronan barks out, and Adam notices how red Ronan’s ears turn. “The fuck, I didn’t mean  _ that!  _ I just meant all the things about your stupid personality! What are you thinking? You look like a loser in the mornings, I mean, honestly!” 

“Okay, okay!” Adam says, raising his arms in surrender. 

“Just watch the fucking movie,” Ronan huffs, crossing his arms as he burrows in the blankets. 

“Where the hell are our chicken tenders?” Adam asks as he starts to pay attention to the fucking movie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to post it yesterday, but I just kept writing and I am finally finishing this at work, so sorry! I honestly should just say fuck the slow burn and have them kiss ASAP and be done with it because they're idiots in love but whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's almost midnight and I need to be up at 5 and I maybe might regret staying up this late but I just had to finish this. This AU is based on the book The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren. Sorry, I haven't actually read it, lol, but the premise is amazing and I had to write a Pynch AU. Hope you enjoy the gay disaster that is this fic. 
> 
> ps I hope someone gets the Gordon Ramsay bit I put in, I love him and have been binging his shows. you fucking donut! :D


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